I have returned.....

.....and taken my rightful place as Queen of the Field. I will report later with tales of my travels. I was a superstar of course, and now have another Eunoch Slave under my spell.

Well......

.... I'm ready to go! I'm helpfully standing next to the gate waiting for Mother to get me out! I've been practicing my best 'not quite as grumpy as normal' ears for when I meet JT. I mean, he is a POSH horse. I don't know how long I will be able to keep it up though. I suspect I will have 'angry' ears 2 minutes after meeting him. Oh well! *sigh* Teeeeheeeee! Mummy is doing lots of rushing around and I keep seeing her go past with things in her hands. Thank the gods I saw her pack my lunch boxes! That would have been a disaster otherwises! The Idiot Twins are down the other end of the field. GOOD! They smell. Mummy obviously loves me the most because they aren't invited! HAHAHAHAHA! But I bet Daddy feeds them nice stuff while I'm away. That would be OUTRAGEOUS!!! Hmmmm, I wonder if I could quickly rig up some kind of Idiot Twins cam to keep an eye on what they are getting while I'm away?! Then I could make sure I get my share when I am back! Ohhhh, ohhhh, here comes Mummy again.... better go and polish my hooves!

I was the perfect pupil.....

.....Mother, on the other hand, has a lot to learn! I love my western lessons - well, apart from smelly old flection exercises. One day Auntie Catherine will cotton on to how much I HATE that part of my lesson! I was a total star as normal. Mummy, well, Mummy, yesssss, well, hmmmmm - I worked out my side step passes all on my own - goodness knows what Mummy was doing. She was going in all directions. She'll get there, bless her! Good job she has me to look after her! The boys wouldn't look after her like I do. Speaking of the Idiot Twins, that Mac was dangling over the fence with his big nose in my schooling area! OUTRAGEOUS! I had my revenge - I farted at him as I jogged past! AHAH!!!!! Dimbo Pops was standing watching, looking stupid as normal! Boys Smell!! I RULE!!!!

You just can't get the.....

....Service!! Being a Lady means that I have to have the best. Mummy does like to spoil me. As a very special present, because I only have seven saddles, Mummy found a beautiful Western/Mexican saddle on Ebay. Not only the saddle, it also has the matching bridle, breastplate and all the other goodies I could possibly want! I was terribly excited about my present arriving. The lady sending it sent it special delivery so I would have it in time for trying out before I go to Wales. MY parcel was supposed to arrive on Saturday, via a Slave called Parcel Force. PAH!!! Peasant Force would be more like it!! OUTRAGEOUS!!! My parcel didn't arrive on Saturday, after they promised it would! They said they couldn't find me! Rubbish! How many horses do they deliver too? The fools! Mummy contacted the nice lady seller, who got straight onto Peasant Force on Monday morning. The lady was very cross as she'd paid extra so MY saddle would be with me for the weekend. By Monday afternoon there was still no sign of my parcel. I was very cross. I did my best angry ears and bit Pop's bum in frustration! Mummy and Daddy had to go the vets to collect the Eunoch known as Mouse, and still no sign of Peasant Force. In the evening Mummy went to email the nice lady seller to see that Peasant Force had been in touch with the lady seller to say they have delivered the parcel and it had been signed for!! OUTRAGEOUS!!!!! Not by Me or My Mummy, or even My Daddy, though I suspect he signs for things with a picture, or by making his mark. I digress!! Mummy was very upset, I could hear her crying from my field. Daddy spoke to the seller lady on the phone who was also very upset as the saddle had been a special present from her Dad, and she wanted it to have a good home. We were all planning to go Peasent Force Hunting!
This morning Daddy contacted our lovely Peasent Force Man. He knows how to deliver parcels to us. He wasn't on yesterday and the Village Idiot had been allowed to deliver instead! Our lovely man got onto the case for me. The Peasent Force Depot were about as useful as a gelding at a stud farm.... But our lovely man saved the day. He tracked down the Village Idiot and worked out what had happened, then he recognised the name of the person who had signed for the parcel and was able to direct us to where MY present was being held captive!!! Mummy and Daddy rushed off to save it. Pheeeewwwwwww!! The nice seller lady was very relieved too. Mummy is going to try my goodies on me later. Its my lesson soon. Be warned - don't trust Village Idiots in Peasent Force vans! Lets hope they don't have to deliver anything really important - like my tea! As that would be absolutely OUTRAGEOUS!!

One would think.....

....that if you were truely loved, One's Mother would provide an umbrella for you when it is raining. I have damp ears! I am OUTRAGED! I may go and roll in some mud in protest!! Then She will have to spend HOURS grooming me, and me alone, ready for tomorrow. Haaaaa. Yes, that is what I will do. Oh yes, and Boys still smell!

Only two more sleeps....

.... and Mummy and I are off for our girls break!! Yipppheeee - read it and weep Slave Boys!!! We are going to Wales to visit Auntie Helen, although on the downside I understand I have to share sleeping quarters with another Eunoch! At least this one is a Pure Breed, much more upclass and befitting my station and superiour intelligence. Not like those two fools I have to live with and pretend to like for Mummy's benefit. Oh how I shall laugh when I am jogging across the beach, with the wind in my hair, the smell of the sea in my velvety nostrils and Mummy hanging on for dear life on my back - knowing that the Idiot Twins will be back at home wondering where I am. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I bet Pops cries! HAHAHAHAHAHA! He worships the ground I walk on. Mac probably will pretend he doesn't care, but I know the truth! Boys Smell!!! I think Daddy will miss me - he is my human male slave. I don't think he is a Eunoch, I shall have to ask Mummy for confirmation on that! I hope Mummy remembers to pack enough tea to keep me going while we are away - in fact, I think I should suggest that we take ALL of the horse feed - just roll the feed bin into the lorry with me. That way I can look after it and make sure the boys don't eat too much, or even anything, while we are away. I think that is a very excellent idea. Really, sometimes I amaze myself! I'm sooooo clever. Ohhh, I've just had a thought. Daddy might give the boys special treats while I'm away, hmmmmm, that would be OUTRAGEOUS. I'd better make sure I hide them all before I leave.

You would think.....

....That when One is standing in front of the window doing your best 'Hungry Ears' pose, that your Mother would realise what time it is!! Oh no, Mummy and Daddy are billing and coooing over that 'Mouse' creature that claims to be a dog!! Dog my arse! He's no bigger than a Gnat! Just because He had to go in and have an operation today! Another flipping Eunoch about the place! Its not MY fault he had one wobbly bit bigger than the other! I don't see why his misfortune should encroach into MY Tea Time. OUTRAGEOUS!!!!

MY blog!!!

Welcome good people to MY blog. Finally, my Mother has seen sense and given me, the apple of her eye and the ONLY four legged being that truely understands her, my very own blog. I am The Outraged Horse. I am a refined mare, no, Lady, of more mature years. Like wine, I have improved with age. This blog is for me to give my own personal and very distinct view on what is going on around me. OUTRAGEOUSLY and unfortunately, I have to share my Mummy, field and FOOD with two idiotic geldings (although I like to toss the word Eunoch at them frequently) who I shall probably refer too as my Underlings or Slaves. You will find that 'I' find most things in life to be OUTRAGEOUS!!!