...... if One's Mother decides to change the day of our Western lesson, she would have the common sense to inform her mount!! Oh no, not my Mother!! Twit! I'd just taken great pleasure in covering myself in my Monday Midday Mudpack, when SHE comes trooping into the field with my head collar. What WAS she thinking!!! OUTRAGEOUS!! Doesn't she know by now that Monday at Midday is Mudpack time! A Lady of my age must take her beauty and skin care regime VERY seriously. So, I'm removed from the field, with the Idiot Boys sniggering at my misfortune. The pillock more commonly known as Mac even had the nerve to try and nip my bottom as I left! The swine! I HATE him! I had my revenge though, Mummy had to spend AGES removing my mudpack! HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! I sneakily pretended to give her a nuzzle and managed to wipe a big muddy stripe up her face. MMMMWWWWWAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Teeeheeeee. I'm such a clever horse.
Auntie Catherine was running a little bit late, so Mummy and I had a trot up and down the drive to warm up and began some of our exercises. Auntie Catherine arrived and our lesson started. I would like to state here and now that I HATE FLECTION EXERCISES!!! HATE, HATE, HATE. They are boring. Mac and Pops should do flection exercises all day long, forever and ever. I HATE FLECTION EXERCISES. I did my very best 'Angry Ears' to make my feelings known. Auntie Catherine and Mummy are not supposed to laugh at me when I am doing them! It's actually very difficult, and as such One would think IMPRESSIVE, to do 'Angry Ears' whilst performing a flection exercise!! Some people just don't appreciate my style and grace! Ok, I have now got that of my rather lovely chest. Once the HATED FLECTION EXERCISES were done with, we could get to the good stuff.
I LOVE DOING POLES!! Poles are fun and my most favourite part of my lesson. Auntie Catherine was very pleased with me today, and in some of my exercises she said that if we'd been competing in a Western Class, we'd have got top marks! Well, I would have got top marks because I'm doing all the work, I just allow Mummy to come along for the ride. I am such a clever horse. I love my Western lessons, they are fun. All horses of a certain age should make their Mummy's and Daddy's let them have western lessons because it keeps you fit, it lets you use your brain, but isn't high impact. Just right for mature Ladies such as myself.
I am a Western Horsey and proud!!
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Lady Tara, you never told me you were a pole dancer! I knew of course, that you were a Western Girl, and you did a very good job of showing dad how to herd the cows, but a pole dancer too? Is there no end to your talents? I think I'm even more in love with you than I was before, if that's possible!
ReplyDeleteYour ever loving JT, the gay hairdresser.